Child Sexual Abuse: A Supportive Resource for Parents & Caregivers

Child sexual abuse (CSA) is a general term that describes a wide range of sexualized experiences that happen to a child under the age of 18 and can involve physical abuse and coercion or no physical contact at all. Abuse is a misuse of power and control.

CSA refers to any sexual misconduct committed against a child or youth by an adult or another young person. It can include one-time occurrences to multiple experiences.

Sexual abuse includes manipulating, threatening, or forcing a child into any sexual activity, which might include sexualized touching or kissing, intercourse, or sex trafficking. However, not all sexual abuse involves physical touch. Behaviours such as exposure, using a child in the making of or viewing of pornography, and grooming are also abusive.[1]

CSA is the sexual victimization of children and youth and includes a wide range of behaviours and situations. It does not have to involve physical force, restraint or penetration. It is the encouragement or coercion of a child to engage in any unlawful or psychologically harmful sexual activity that is intrusive, exploitive, and traumatic for the child.

CSA can include:

• Contact sexual offences such as touching, fondling the genital area or more intrusive forms of contact including penetration.
• Non-contact sexual offences such as exposing a child to sexually explicit acts or sexually explicit materials.
• The use of children in audio or visual images of CSA.
• The sharing of audio or visual images of CSA.
• Sexual slavery, sexual exploitation in travel and tourism, trafficking and sale of children for sexual purposes and forced marriage.
• One-time occurrences to multiple experiences.
• One offender to multiple offenders.

Sexual development is one part of the human experience. It begins at birth when the child explores their body and develops throughout childhood and puberty. Children of all ages and stages engage in behaviour that may be interpreted as sexual. However, exploring one’s body, masturbating to self-soothe, engaging in appropriate make-believe play (for example “playing doctor”), and being curious about their body are normal and healthy examples of child development. It is important to know that these behaviours are not sexual in nature. As children age and enter teenage years, their awareness of their sexuality increases and they begin to engage in sexual behaviours in private, or with peers.

Children who have experienced CSA at a very young age have no way to understand or disclose what is happening to them. The difference between healthy and problematic sexual behaviour is sometimes difficult to distinguish in childhood due to the individual’s sexual development. Some sexualized behaviour may be reflective of other stressors in a child’s life, for example if there is violence in the home, or if the child is being physically abused. However, there are some common signs and behaviours that can indicate a child has experienced CSA.

Some behaviours that can indicate that a child has experienced CSA are:

• Having sexual knowledge or language that is inappropriate for a child’s age or developmental stage.
• Inappropriate sexual play with toys or other children.
• Children engaging in sexualized behaviours with other children where there is a significant age gap or with adults.
• Sexual behaviours involving coercion or infliction of pain or harm on another child or themselves.

Sexual behaviour starts to impact engagement with regular activities.

Children who are supported and believed when they disclose statistically have the best outcomes [2]. If your child, or a child close to you, tells you that they have been sexually abused, there are helpful things you can say and do to support them.

Take a deep breath and allow a few moments to gather your thoughts. Hearing a disclosure can be very difficult. However, it is important to control your reaction and remember that the child confided in you because they see you as someone they trust and feel safe with.

Let the child tell you what happened in their own words. Try not to interrupt them or press them for details. This can be overwhelming for a child and may make them feel blame or shame.

The most important thing you can do is believe a child when they tell you they have been hurt or abused. How you respond will have a great impact on the child. Some helpful responses are:

“Thank you for telling me.”
“I believe you.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“You did nothing wrong.”
“You aren’t in trouble.”
“Thank you for trusting me.”
“You are very brave for telling me.”

It’s important to know that recanting, or ‘taking back’ the disclosure, is a common occurrence after a child has disclosed sexual abuse, especially if the abuser was a family member, or person close to the family. Recanting does not mean the child was lying. Many times, the child may be fearful of the abuser, feel shame, want to protect a family member, or may be trying to make it all go away.

Let the child know that the abuse is not their fault. Nothing they did caused it, and they are not to blame. The offender holds all the blame, never the child.

Let the child know that they are not in trouble, but that you have to share this information with another trusted adult to make sure they are safe. Thank them for their bravery in coming forward.

It is important to be honest with the child or youth and let them know that you will have to tell another trusted adult about what they have shared with you. Letting the child know what is happening to their information and experience gives them a sense of control and maintains trust. Sharing information without the child’s knowledge can have a very negative impact on the child. The Canadian Centre for Child Protection suggests giving them the option to be present when you share the information or make a report, or the option to make the report themselves. Make sure that you use age-appropropriate language to explain what is going on, and the steps that are happening so they can understand and have a sense of control over what is happening.

When a child discloses abuse it can be very difficult to process. You may experience feelings of shock, anger, sadness, disbelief, guilt, or confusion. Take time for yourself for self-care, connecting with your community, spiritual care, speaking with an elder, or counselling. Know that you are not alone, and there are resources in the community to help parents, caregivers, and people close to the child in the circle of support.

When a person becomes aware that a child (under age 16) or youth (age 16 and 17) is being sexually abused and in need of protective intervention, they are ethically and legally required to report it. Abuse can be reported to either the police or a social worker with the Department of Children, Seniors, and Social Development (CSSD).

The Children, Youth and Families Act states that a child or youth is in need of protective intervention if they have experienced, or are at risk of experiencing, abuse or neglect due to an action or lack of action by a parent.

CSSD defines sexual abuse as any sexual contact between an individual and a child/youth regardless of whether the sexual contact occurs by force, coercion, duress, and deception or whether the child/youth understands the sexual nature of the activity. Sexual contact includes sexual penetration, touching, harassment, invitation to sexual touching, sexual acts such as exposure, voyeurism, or sexually exploiting the child/youth by involving the child/youth in the sex trade or pornography. (https://www.gov.nl.ca/cssd/files/NL-Policy-and-Procedures-Manual-1.pdf)

 A plain language definition of a child or youth in need of protection can be found here: https://www.gov.nl.ca/cssd/childprotection/report/#Newfoundland

The legal definition of a child or youth indeed of protection can be found here: https://www.assembly.nl.ca/legislation/sr/statutes/c12-3.htm#10_

To report a concern, contact CSSD toll-free at 1-833-552-2368 or contact your local police.

If a child is in immediate danger, call 911 or your local police.

After the police and/or child protection have been called, you may have questions about next steps. Child protection services are required by law to investigate whether a child is in need of protective intervention.

Your child may be interviewed by a police officer, a specially trained social worker, or both. People who are close to your child (for example, teachers, guidance counsellors, family members) may also be interviewed during the investigation.

Following the investigation, the social worker will complete their assessment. There are specific guidelines that a child protection social worker must follow during this process.

To understand more about the child protection system in Newfoundland and Labrador, visit: https://www.gov.nl.ca/cssd/childprotection/

An Introduction to Child Protection in Newfoundland and Labrador by Public Legal Information Association of Newfoundland and Labrador is another helpful resource. It can be found here: https://publiclegalinfo.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/PLIAN-Child-Protection-Publication-2020-Final.pdf